Living the Dreams

right now...

2011-04-29T16:54:00.000-04:00

Willette is doing a weekly challenge that I need to be a part of! I find that I take so many pictures of other kids that I don't grab my camera and document our family right now. Don't get me wrong, I have so many professional pictures of my kids, but I also want to remember the moments when they aren't dressed to the nine, their hair is hanging in their face, they aren't always looking at the camera, and they are just being themselves...my kids. So this is this weeks, Right Now...

Leah and I got Sam on the bus after lunch. She waved good-bye to the "big yellow bus" and we headed back for more driveway fun.

We started with some coloring...

She even drooled a bit!

She kicked her shoes off to get comfortable.

And had to take her socks off too.

Yes, that's big girl panties showing!

It was no good to leave the socks on the driveway, so she tried to stuff them in her pockets.

Really, I love these images just because of the blue sky and that belly!

We left the crayons behind....

...and entered the street for some bike riding fun.

Then we came inside, used the potty and cleaned hands and headed upstairs...

...where she is sleeping peacefully.

Pure Sweetness

2011-04-09T16:29:00.000-04:00

Almost makes me want another one. Almost.

Mommy & Me Mini Sessions

2011-04-04T17:05:00.000-04:00

OK, Mamma's! If you are anything like me, then when your kids grow up and look back at photos, they will have lots of pictures of themselves, but they will wonder if you were ever even there! You aren't IN any of the pictures! That's because you are the one always behind the camera. This is the perfect opportunity to be not only in the photos, but the main point of them!

On Saturday, April 30th we will meet at beautiful Spring Grove Cemetery and Arboretum for an amazing Mommy and Me photo session experience! The focus of the session will be the sweet and tender relationship between Mommy and her children. Your online gallery will be available about one week later and will have approximately 8-12 images for you to cherish forever.

Rules and Terms:
* Session fee is due at time of booking and is non-transferable
* Session fee may be transferred to someone else for your time slot, but not to any other session or event
* Your $100 session fee will be credited to your print order in full
* Packages start at $125, please contact me for more information
* A la carte items may be added to any package

Experience an amazing session with your most treasured little people with the Moments Photography treatment. Dad's, this would be a great Mother's Day gift for your wife! Book today, space is limited!

For questions or to secure your appointment, please email me at kimdevilbiss@fuse.net or call me at 513.378.9919.

Loving the winters and the floods

2011-03-06T23:35:00.000-05:00

It's been raining this weekend. Again. All weekend. That dreary-stay-in-your-jammies-all-day kind of rain. At least it wasn't as cold this time. Last week it was so cold and so rainy that it should have just been snow. That way we could have all stayed home because the city would have been shut down due to 2 feet of snow. But instead, it was rain. The lack of sunshine definitely has me feeling the winter blahs (or blues, or depression, who really knows?). I feel like I need the spring. I need the sunshine. I need warmer temperatures. I need to see the blue sky and white puffy clouds. I need to hear the birds singing the first thing as I wake up. I need to feel the fresh air coming through my windows and wash away all the germs and freshen up my house after being closed up for so long.

But I wonder what God wants to teach me during this time. The winter is a necessary part of the year and it must be a necessary part of my life.

I am reminded of where I was on a Friday afternoon 8 months ago. God had opened doors and miraculously allowed us (Allie, Emily and I) to go on an amazing adventure to Mexico. I had high hopes of what the Lord would teach the girls and myself while serving Him and the orphans with Back 2 Back Ministries. Little did I know (OK, not at all did I know!) that we were walking right into a hurricane. Literally. Hurricane Alex, the first hurricane of the season came early in the season and had a direct hit on Monterrey, Mexico. Right where God had miraculously brought us for His plan and glory. And little did I know that the Good Lord would still be teaching me from those days 8 months ago.

First Day in Monterrey

Same view on Thursday afternoon (notice the "missing" mountain)

The rain started on Wednesday. It was predicted we would get 5-10 inches of rain with significant flooding. Thursday we were told it was too dangerous to leave the walls of the Back 2 Back campus, so we would stay there and try to prevent flood damage to the campus. We shoveled large piles of gravel to direct the flow of the rain away from the Guckenberger home and other buildings. The work was hard. The rain poured without hope of letting up while water ravaged with sewage flooded the ground we walked on. And as if that wasn't enough, we lost power and most communication. We were told to ration food and clean water. The flood water had saturated the ground so much that it was no longer solid, places of the earth were opening up to large sinkholes. The walls surrounding the campus were breaking under the pressure of a nearly 6 foot wall of water pressing against it. There was fear that it would break suddenly causing flash flooding through the campus. Holes were drilled into the walls to relieve the pressure. What should have been 5-10 inches of rain turned into a relentless 40 inches of rain in only 36 hours. Significant flooding turned into devastating flooding. And the hope of getting my two babies out of harms way to the safety of our home on Friday was gone as we were told that there was no way out of the campus.

The beginning of the flooding on Wednesday

Thursday on campus

Working hard

One of the roads out of campus

A hole in the wall to relieve pressure

Unbelievable water flowed through campus

And the thoughts going through my emotional mind seemed just as devastating as the flood itself. We may have only gotten 39 inches of rain if I could have stopped the tears from coming! God had miraculously opened doors to bring us to Mexico for this? Really?? I had expected so much from this trip, but not this. I even expected danger. I mean, it's Mexico! I was nervous to take my young girls to such a dangerous place and was warned by so many. Never in a million years would I have expected the danger to come from a natural disaster. How could God to this to me? We worked so hard to raise the money and make this trip possible and God provided above and beyond what I had ever imagined. And yes, He brought us here for THIS. I wish I could say that I accepted that reality then and there, but I think it has taken 8 months and a really long winter to accept that.

Thursday night into Friday was one of my longest nights ever. I stayed awake listening to the pouring rain, praying that God would allow it to just stop. As I lay there in bed, I remembered standing outside Thursday afternoon watching the rain come down and thinking that it was just so relentless. The rain just would not give up! Then I remembered the words to a song we had sung that night during worship. There was no electricity, but there sure was power in that room and it was felt by all! The words we sang to our Awesome God, "And like a flood, His mercy rains, unending love...amazing grace!" Oh, my God, thank you that your love is relentless and won't give up on ME! I prayed all night that the rain would stop and we would go home as planned on Friday, but as a dim light returned the day I knew that it was not going to be possible. I was so homesick for Brian and my other two babies, and I was scared for our safety. Then, Emily woke up saying she wasn't feeling well. She had a fever and started throwing up. I could barely hold it together. At many times, I didn't.

Between taking care of Emily, helping Allie with all of the stress of the situation, and packing, I found myself sitting on a bench under an umbrella talking with Beth Guckenberger. She and her husband are the founders of Back 2 Back Ministries and if I could spend just one day listening to her words, my life would be richer. The woman is amazing. I had a five minute conversation with her that is likely to change my life. As I fought back tears, I told her I would endure this and that I would make it and be OK. I just didn't have to like it, right? She paused, in that kind of way that you know you probably said something wrong, and without condemnation, she said, "I don't know. I'm going to have to think on that one a bit. I wonder if maybe you do have to like it." Immediately James 1:2 came to my mind (although I didn't want to admit it!), "Consider it pure joy whenever you face trials of many kinds". I'm telling you, I did not want to consider this joy! Giving birth? Yes, that's joy! But this flood? My baby being sick? Feeling out of control and helpless in a dangerous situation? I did not even want to try to find joy in it. I guess I am stubborn that way. I guess that's why God sent me to a third world country to experience a hurricane. I'm stubborn! And God's grace and mercy and love are relentless!

There were three roads to get us to the highway, which would get us to the airport. One was washed away, one was significantly under water, and one...the only one with hope...was starting to wash away and had at least a foot of water rushing over it. The National Guard had been called into Monterrey, and had deemed the route from our campus to the airport impassible. But the staff knew ways the National Guard did not and they were determined to get us out of campus (which was growing more dangerous) and to the airport hotel to get us home. We loaded our bags and my sick babies (Allie was starting to not feel well too, I think she was so tired) onto a truck and started our long journey to the airport hotel.

The one "safe" road to get us to the highway

The streets the bus drove on to get us to the airport

Downtown Monterrey

We made it home. Only 24 hours later than planned. God moved mountains to get Allie and Emily and I to Mexico that week, and I firmly believe it was so we could experience Hurricane Alex. God did amazing things in my heart that week. I know this is a long post, but I wish I could go into depth the things He taught me during this. God works in mysterious ways.

I have learned that God's love and grace are relentless, like a flood. And for that I am thankful. I have learned that God does open the doors for great adventures. And sometimes those doors lead you right into a hurricane. I have learned that I will walk through the floods of life. And when I do, God is right there with me. I have learned that if God is for me, who can be against? I have learned that God uses all things to work together for His good for those who love Him. And I have learned that nothing, neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation (floods!) will be able to separate us from the love of God! And I am learning to consider it pure joy when I face trials of many kinds, because we know that the testing of our faith produces perseverance, and perseverance must finish its work so that we may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

I wish I could have known all of this 8 months ago. I am so thankful for that time in Mexico and am even thankful for Hurricane Alex. I pray that the insight that was gleaned from this experience will carry over into the next trial, whatever it may be, and that in the midst of it, I will have joy and a peace that surpasses all understanding. I wish that God wasn't reinforcing all of this with a really long winter. But I suppose I need to give up my stubbornness and find joy in it.

Rejoice in the Lord always, I will say it again: Rejoice!

MIA?

2011-02-03T14:58:00.000-05:00

Nope, not really, just haven't been here much! I can't believe it's been since August since I have updated my blog. Time has really flown by.

We had a great fall, a fabulous Christmas and now we are anxiously awaiting the spring. My fall and end of 2010 was extremely busy with my growing photography business. If you want to stay up on that, feel free to "like" Moments Photography on Facebook.

The kids are getting so big, 3 of the 4 are all celebrating birthdays right now. Sometimes I look at them and still can't believe they are mine!

Hopefully will be updating a little more regularly! :) Until then, stay warm!

If you don't give a baby a cookie...

2010-08-09T21:44:00.000-04:00

...or anything else, she will get very fussy. I wanted to update about Leah's 24 hour fast sooner, but I just didn't get a chance yet. We survived! It was quite an experience that I pray we never have to relive, but Leah did great and was such a trooper. I was just so proud of her!

The sweet girl had no idea what was about to happen to her.

Where are we going Mommy?

We arrived at the hospital about 8:15 on Monday evening. It was hard getting out of the house. Apparently, the 3 big kids did NOT want us to leave! We got checked in and were walked to our room. The nurse (a couple actaully) and a doctor did a full review of Leah's history with us while she explored the room. Her favorite thing to do was to crawl under the crib! She was quite curious! Finally, around 11:00 a nurse came in to give a very tired Leah an IV in her arm. That was not what was on Leah's agenda! She cried very hard for it, but when they were done she was allowed to go to sleep, finally. I laid her in the crib and she went right to sleep.

You would think that by baby number 4 I wouldn't be so in awe of a sleeping baby, but I am. I just stood there and stared at my sweet baby.

I had so many thoughts running through my head as I stood there and watched her sleep. The first and biggest thought was of how much love I have for this sweet girl. I mean, really, could I love our 4th baby as much as I have loved the other 3? I am astonished at how much joy she has added to our family. And of course, my thoughts were consumed with the last few months with our sweet Leah. Her health has certainly been on the forefront of our minds and at times heavy on our hearts. Answers could not come fast enough for us, but in the process of this, we are learning patience and how to wait on the Lord.

It was a long night of being awakened every couple hours for blood sugar pricks. But in between, we did sleep a little bit. Unfortunately, we were up by 6:45 AM for good. Leah was so good. She barely complained at all about not eating, however, my Mommy heart broke into a million pieces every time she would sign eat and please. It went against every fiber of my being to not feed my child, especially as I watched her sugar slip and she became very symptomatic.

We did play some...

And she walked the hallways a LOT, waving cutely at every nurse she walked by. It sure does a moms heart good to hear how cute your baby is about 175 times in one day! Oh I love that girl! By 2:00 her sugar was down to 50 and she was very sleepy and shaky. She fell asleep and I thought for sure when they checked her the next time that she would be below 45, which is where she needed to be for the test to be accurate. So we kept checking while she slept.

Unfortunately, her sugar never dropped below 50. She stalled out there, even went up a tad bit, for 4 long hours. The doctor said that sugar is very unpredictable. Um, yeah! He did say that it was good that it didn't drop dangerously low again, but that it was bad because we may not get accurate results. Talk about frustration! The whole reason I decided to go through with this test was so that we could finally get some answers, and now they are saying maybe not. They did go ahead and draw the blood (the 10 viles of it!!!), and I am praying for something. Again, we wait.

And finally, Leah was allowed to eat!!! A full 24 hours after she had eaten the night before. And she was so happy about it.

And they pumped her veins with sugar...

And finally, we were able to go home! I think Leah was just as ready as I was!

We were welcomed home by Allie, Emily, Sam and Daddy (and Aunt Kelly!) at 9:30 pm. I wish I could say that the craziness was over, but when we got home, I checked Leah's sugar levels and she was actually really high. I put her to bed, assuming that it was because of the glucose they put in her IV, but the next morning she was even higher. When all of this first started back in April, we were told that it wasn't diabetes, that it was probably some form of hypoglycemia to then maybe thinking it was a metabolic disorder, with the possibility of a brain tumor thrown in there, now back to the possibility of it being diabetes in the early stages. My head is spinning! We will see the pediatric endocrinologist in two weeks to talk about all of this and hopefully get some answers.

But for now, we continue to wait and monitor her sugar. This sweet little fourth baby of ours sure is taking us for a roller coaster ride that we didn't expect. However the Lord continues to teach us amazing things about Himself and we have been so blessed by so many things and so many people through this process. God is so good and we continue to place our sweet baby, and her blood sugar, in His hands. He created her and He knows exactly what is going on in her body, even when we don't understand. He's just cool like that.

A road less traveled

2010-08-02T19:17:00.000-04:00

Or one that has never been traveled in our home. Tonight I will take Leah to Children's at 8:00 to begin her 24 hour fasting challenge. I am counting down the hours, not out of excitement, and not really even out of fear, but just simply because I can't wait to get on with this. I am tired of thinking about this test and wondering how she will respond to it and how it will be on me to watch her go through this. But tonight I can just live it and see it unfold instead of playing out the countless scenarios in my head. The goal is to fast her for up to 24 hours. Then, when her sugar drops, they will get this "critical sample" of blood to see what has been causing her sugar to be all over the place. A problem we didn't even know existed until April 28th. They want to get this all figured out before flu season hits and she gets sick again, since getting sick could cause her sugar to drop dangerously low again. So, as much as I don't want to put her through this test, I will do it in hopes that we don't have to ever see her so lethargic and unresponsive again. And to get an answer. We have now had 2 pediatricians and 2 pediatric specialists agree that this is the right road to take and I am at peace with the decision...just can't wait for it to be over!

"Rejoice in the Lord always; again, I will say refoice! Let your gentle spirit be known to all men. The Lord is near. Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will gusrd you hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Phil 4:4-7

Mexico

2010-07-26T21:35:00.000-04:00

OK, so many of you have said that I need to update my blog about our Mexico trip. First of all, I didn't know I had so many readers, and second, I really don't even know where to begin!

I wish that I could start this post by saying that I know exactly why God called us to go to Mexico this summer, but I can't. Instead, I have the most amazing stories about one of the most amazing and hardest weeks in my life. So I will just start at the beginning, which means this might turn into a really long post!

Our trip started early in the morning on Saturday. At 3:30 in the morning to be exact! We left our dark, quiet home in time to arrive at the Dayton airport by 4:30 for take-off at 6:00 AM. The plane ride out was great. I was nervous, Emily bounced up and down and couldn't stop talking from excitement as we took off. Allie was quite nervous too, although I am not sure if it was from riding in a plane or from anticipation of arriving in Mexico. To be honest, I am not sure if I was nervous of the plane, or the arrival either. We were finally leaving for Mexico!

We arrived in the Mexico airport around lunchtime, and it was HOT! We loaded the charter bus, fully equipped with a low-functioning air conditioner and lovely curtains covering the windows. Apparently, they didn't want all the people wandering the streets of Monterrey to know that we were a bus load of Americans! We drove about 45 minutes through some of the most beautiful mountains I have ever seen and finally arrived at the Back 2 Back campus. We had a short meeting, had a great time with a pool party on campus with a couple of the children's homes, and then had a cookout with the kids. Emily and I got called into serving dinner, which was so much fun! Emily passed out napkins to the kids and I passed out "sandia", watermelon! The kids were so excited about this dinner. To us, it seemed somewhat meager: hamburgers, nachos with cheese and peppers, and a slice of watermelon; but to them it was paradise! I was touched by the smiles on these beautiful faces and the gratitude that they showed despite the language barrier.

I had hoped to journal every day, but by the end of Saturday, I was so tired that I couldn't even keep my eyes open. Here's what I wrote in my journal Sunday evening:

"I wanted so badly to write at the beginning of this day, but time would not allow it. Now, at 7:00 the day is nearing an end, I am yet again exhausted, and I have so much to say. Words can not even begin to describe what I have seen over the last 24 hours nor can they describe the huge range of emotions in my heart. Every part of what I am doing is a huge step out of my comfort zone and another opportunity to rely on the Lord. From getting onto the airplane, praying for safety in the air, to holding the sweet baby at the Rio.

This place is gorgeous and amazing. It is far more beautiful than I had imagined and unlike anything I have ever seen. We are surrounded by palm trees and the most amazing and majestic mountains. And yet, right in the middle of it all is a poverty and need unlike anything I have ever seen."

The view from campus.

On Sunday we went to one of the Rio communities that Back 2 Back serves. We brought lunch to serve them and we also got a day to just "play" with them by watching the World Cup soccer game. After a meeting in the soup kitchen, a mere slab of concrete with a wood roof, we walked through the Rio to invite the residents to come join us for Sunday worship, lunch and the soccer game. This was by far one of the hardest walks I have ever been on. To be face to face with that level of poverty was heart-breaking. The Rio is literally built on the city dump. The homes are built, by hand, with whatever they can find when the garbage truck comes (which is actually a horse-drawn carriage). Some of the homes were built out of the side of a hill, using a tree trunk for a wall, a mattress for another wall, and a table or box for the 4th wall. Most homes had a tarp for a roof. There was trash everywhere, stray animals were running around and leaving their "stuff" behind. This was the farthest away, physically, emotionally and mentally, from my quaint suburban home in West Chester. I wasn't afraid at all. But my heart broke over the "stuff" I have filled my home with compared to the lack of "stuff" in these homes. This was all they had.

I was absolutely amazed at the maturity of Allie and Emily. Emily was the first to talk to me about how she felt walking through the Rio. She told me that it was breaking her heart and that it was just making her so sad. She said that it hurt her eyes to look at their houses. Allie told me how sad she was, but she also told me how to fix the problem. She asked if we could come next year on a mission trip and build them houses. Then she changed her mind to building a large apartment building so they could all live in it. I was so proud of both girls and the way that God spoke to them in the Rio.

But in the middle of the poverty were some of the most beautiful faces!

Once all the kids/parents were up at the soup kitchen and we were playing, I almost forgot what they had come from. I almost forgot that these kids live in cardboard boxes and sleep on dirt floors. They were so happy, so content, and always had a smile on their sweet faces. At one point, I remember sitting on a bench just watching them play, and watching Allie and Emily play with them, and it hit me that they live where we had just walked. They were normal, happy children, but they live in a very abnormal place. When we got ready to leave, I saw one boy jump into the arms of Matt and, although I don't know spanish, I heard him say "Take me to your house". I wanted to cry. And I wanted to bring all those sweet kids home with me.

On Monday we drove 45 minutes to an orphanage called El Retiro Juvinelle, or simply ERJ as we called it! When we arrived we were served an authentic Mexican meal...delicious tacos!

The Mexicans use a lot of potatoes in their cooking, it's filling and cheap...and it tastes good! Even Allie and Emily ate these, but they really loved the rice!

After lunch, we were allowed to go on the ropes course. ERJ has 11 acres of land, yet only 17 kids. On this land, they have built a ropes course and have hopes of building cabins and a pool to rent out to different groups and companies to raise money for the home. It was a great ropes course! We learned so much about ourselves, about others and about God through doing this. We also learned so much about perseverance, patience, walking through trials and even success through doing this ropes course. Who knew you could learn so much on logs and ropes in 108 degree weather? But, that's all for another post! :)

When we got done with the course, we headed back up to the palapa where we would meet some of the kids to play. There were threatning rain clouds and as the rain started to fall, we realized that we weren't going to be able to do some of the painting that they wanted us to do, but instead we were just able to play with some of the kids. What a blessing! There was one little girl, named Michelle (hard "ch" shound, not soft), she was 9 years old and there was just something about her eyes that spoke to my soul, and broke my heart. She seemed so bitter and angry. Most of the other girls/kids seemed so happy. They all wore a great big smile and were very touchy, loving hugs and holding hands. Not Michelle. She would not even look at me in the eyes. She would barely talk to me. I thought about how much I wished I knew spanish so I could talk to her, and was beginning to think that there was no way I would be able to break through. Then my Emily walked up. She said "Como te llamas?" Michelle answered, but in a way that neither one of us could understand (it wasn't until we asked a worker later that we finally figured out her name!). At one point, Emily said that she wanted her to come play with her, and I told her to just ask her. Emily, in all of her wonder took Michelle by the hand and simply said, "come". She looked at her, very skeptical, and went. As they walked away, Emily tried to hold her hand and Michelle kept pulling it away. Emily finally gave up on the hand holding, but they continued up the hill. A bit later, I found them playing under the palapa and Michelle was smiling and laughing! They were coloring with sidewalk chalk. They spent the rest of the afternoon playing together...jump roping, bubbles, coloring and tossing a ball. Neither one of them spoke the other girls language, but the language of play is international. I was so proud of her for being so outgoing and persistent with her! It was a joy to watch and to be her Mama!

There were a few other girls who made an impression on my heart. Odalise is the younger 7 year old sister of Michelle. She became my buddy! She loved touching, holding my hand, touching my arm. She was full of smiles and was just so sweet! Two other girls, who were sisters too, made an impression, Estrella age 8 and Bolina age 5. I had met Estrella and Bolina at the pool party on Saturday evening and was so glad to see them again. Such sweet girls!

Michelle

Odalise

Estrella

Bolina

Oh I wish I could have put all 4 of these girls in my suitcase and brought them home with me! They brought so much joy into my life in such a short amount of time.

The next day, Tuesday, we went back to ERJ. It was so nice to be able to go to the same home twice. I loved seeing the same kids all over again! Odalise ran right up and gave me a big hug and a big hola! We did lots of work and lots of painting on Tuesday. It was nice to be able to have these kids faces in my mind while we were painting their buildings. And of course, Allie and Emily made me proud again! They worked so hard and didn't once complain about the intense heat.

Scripture, Emily's name, the sweat from Allie and Emily and their hard work will forever be on the walls of ERJ. And prayfully, we all will be forever in the hearts of Michelle, Odalise, Estrella and Bolina and the other kids at ERJ, and they will sense that we were there to show them the love of Jesus Christ. I simply can not remember all the names of all the sweet kids we met while we were in Mexico, but their faces will be forever etched in my mind and my heart. As I am typing this, a commercial for the new movie Eat, Pray, Love is on and Julia Roberts character says "I want to go to a place where I can marvel". I have been to that place. It was in Mexico.

Tuesday night was another great night of worship. I called Brian that evening and was able to cry tears of joy as I told him how proud I was of our girls and how I wished he was there to see it. That day, Robin, one of the ladies in our group, told me that the highlight of her day was sitting with Allie on the bus for 45 minutes on the way to ERJ. They talked the entire way. She told me how mature Allie is and what a blessing she was to her. I can't say how much my heart swells when someone tells me that my daughter is a blessing to her! My heart was so filled with joy and humility. I felt like I had experienced so much already and I couldn't possibly understand how the rest of the week could measure up to the first half of the week. Tuesday evening was a turning point in the week because at the end of worship, Todd Guckenberger announced that we were just about to be hit by hurricane Alex. He said worst case scenario is that we would be hit with 5-10 inches of rain, that this would cause flooding and a mess, but we would be ok. We had no idea what God was about to do! Tuesday evening was a turning point in the way that we experienced Mexico, but it was simply a different way that God was going to teach me a ton about Himself, about me and about others. He's just cool like that.

To be continued....

Up the big hill

2010-06-23T00:02:00.000-04:00

I loved roller coasters as a kid. I couldn't wait to go to Kings Island just to ride the big rides. I remember the anticipation as I would wait in line and the excitement would grow as I went up that first hill. The bigger the hill, the faster it went, the more times it would go upside down were all indicators of a great ride.

Now that I am an adult, I still love the thrill of a good coaster, but I have to admit feeling a bit different now than I did as a kid. I remember one hot, steamy summer evening last year after a rain storm. My sister Kelly was here visiting and a commercial came on the TV for the Diamondback at Kings Island. One of us got the crazy, hair-brained idea to leave all 4 kids at home with Brian and head to Kings Island for the sole purpose of riding the Diamondback. We laughed nervously about this idea, but our pride got the best of us and we grabbed our purses, passes and keys. Secretly, I had hoped that she would come up with a reason that we couldn't go. Or, I hoped that Brian would say that he would rather us not go. Little did I know, Kelly was thinking the same thing. But somehow, we got out of the house and we were on our way to the park. The whole way there we laughed nervously some more as our palms got sweaty. I was so nervous that even my fingers and toes were tingling! We kept saying to each other "Are we really doing this?!" We were both nervous, but neither one of us wanted to be the one to back out.

Once at Kings Island, we made our way through the park. The air was sticky after the rain and the pavement had hot steam rising up from it. The park was not crowded, due to the rain that had just come through. When we arrived at the coaster, we stared, horrified, at the massive hill at the beginning of the ride. What were we thinking? The line was not long at all, and while we waited we were able to count that it took a mere 40 seconds for the coaster's car to get to the top of the hill and only about 5 seconds for it to reach the bottom. Within a short 10 minutes, we found ourselves at the end of the line, facing the reality that we were about to get on.

I felt as if my heart might pop out of my chest as we stepped onto the car and sat in our seats. I was mortified to discover that the only safety device was one small traingular shaped piece of metal that sat over my thighs. No shoulder harness. Not even a small seat belt to hold me in place should this thing fail, and no place to hold onto. As the car started to move, I desperately wanted off! My nervous laughter had turned to straight fear and there was no stopping this thing now. We were headed up the big hill. We went fast, as if the car had a mind of it's own and a determination way greater than mine. As we neared the top of the hill, I looked out over Kings Island, and as I let go of my fear what I saw was beautiful. I know I was only at Kings Island, but as I looked out over the park in one of the tallest places around the sight was amazing! I felt as if I could see forever. And before I knew it, the car was screaming down the massive hill. I, however, was not screaming because the force and the speed of going down was enough to force all of the air out of my lungs so that I was not even able to get out a squeek! The ride was amazing, and the fact that I only had a small metal thing holding me down actually allowed me to feel free...like I was flying through the air. It was quite exhilarating! So much so, that I would do it again (and already have)!

This week, I feel as if I am going up the big hill, but in a much different and much bigger way. The time is flying by so quickly, almost as if it has a mind of it's own and a determination greater than mine. Before I know it, I will be boarding an airplane with Allie and Emily and some other amazing people to fly to Monterrey, Mexico. The Lord has called me on an amazing ride. I have prayed about this for so long, and many others have prayed for us too. And, honestly, at times I have secretly (and not so secretly to some) prayed that God would close the doors for us to go this summer. But God's determination is WAY greater than mine and He has allowed every part of it to fall right into place perfectly. I am so excited for this trip, but I would be lying if I didn't admit the part of me that is nervously laughing about it. The Lord has given me a peace beyond measure about it and I am excited to serve outside of my comfort zone.

As I near the top of the hill and I let go of my fear, I can not wait to see the beauty that the Lord has in store for me and to feel the thrill of simply following where He has called me to go.

Isn't that, after all, what life is really about?

News and more

2010-05-28T22:00:00.000-04:00

Well we finally saw the endocrinologist on Wednesday for Leah's "underlying condition". For me, it was such a relief to finally be able to talk to a specialist about our sweet girl. It took 2 weeks for us to be able to get in to see Dr. "S" and leading up to this time was hard on me. Although Leah felt good and acted pretty much normal, I was losing sleep. I mean, really, I am not a totally stressed out, over protective mother, but every night I would lay down to sleep only be able to think about going to see this specialist. This was an appointment that just couldn't get here quick enough.

Dr. S was very good! She talked very quickly and spoke with a lot of medical words, so it was really hard for me to follow her. But, the gist of it is that she does believe that there is an underlying condition, and she thinks she knows what it is. She believes it's a metabolic disorder and although I don't really fully understand the ramifications if she does have this, it seems to me to be something that we would just need to be aware of. I don't think there is any medication she would take, but we would need to know that Leah can not skip a meal, and if she gets sick, we need to be extra vigilant about giving her lots of food and sugar so she does not end up close to unresponsive again. I can handle that! I just need to know what I am facing, and we can handle it. The hard part about this, is that to actually test for this metabolic disorder, we would need a "critical sample" of her blood, a sample when she is critically ill again. So, the question becomes, do we wait for it to happen again and see if we can get that sample upon arrival to the hospital, or do we "force" it to happen by admitting Leah to the hospital, put her in a controlled situation where we would fast her for 24 hours to make her sugar go low again and then draw the blood. On Wednesday, Dr. S ordered some more blood tests and urine sample. Those results won't be in for a couple weeks (they don't move too fast, do they?!) and once we have those results, we will decide which road to take for this critical sample. So we continue to wait, but we are on a road. And, we are learning to trust in the Lord and rely on His peace during this time. I am amazed at the things that I am able to learn about my Sovereign Lord while in times like this. I will post about that another time!

But in between doctor visits and worrying about Miss Leah, we have been quite busy! The end of every school year is so busy and this year has proven to be just as busy! I will post some of what we've been up to with some pictures this weekend!

Eye-opener

2010-05-14T16:08:00.001-04:00

Do you ever have a moment where you notice your current reality and it hits you how bad (or good, depending on your situation) things were before? Well, I have had a few of those times this week. The first time was on Tuesday. I had to take Leah back in to Children's to get some blood work done. We went back into the room, sat in the chair with Leah on my lap, and the tech proceeded to put on the tight blue tourniquet around her little arm and insert a needle into a vein. This was a familiar sight to me, since this was the same arm (almost the exact same place) as the IV that was set up only 2 weeks earlier when Leah was hospitalized. I expected her to take this well, since I have been pricking her toe at least 3 times a day to test her blood and she holds up her foot for me when she sees it coming. She doesn't even cry! Well, the reaction from Leah with this IV was NOT the same as 2 weeks ago. The girl screamed! She arched her back, she fought me and the tech, she tried to pull it out. She continued to cry for a good 5 minutes after he was done! For me, this was an eye-opener to how sick she really was just 2 short weeks ago. When Leah had her IV set up in the ER, she didn't even need to be restrained. She just laid there on the table, at one point she opened her eyes and let out a small grunt before she realized it wasn't worth the energy and she went back to sleep. I was thrilled to see her fighting this time, but it re-inforced the fear of how bad she had been.

Another eye-opener for me came on Wednesday afternoon when Leah really started to turn a corner for the good! She started playing, smiling, "talking" and at one point I even had to pull her hands out of the toilet water! It was pure joy for me! I actually called Brian at work and said "Listen to this!" and held the phone out for him to hear Leah being her sweet little self....and shed a few tears over it. Again, I was thrilled to see her behaving like this, but it was quite an eye-opener to how poorly she had been feeling.

Each day, Leah has been more and more like the sweet little baby girl I know. She even has some new tricks! She can point to her nose, her hair, her eyes, and if you ask her where her lips are, she takes her fingers and blows raspberries with them! She is walking without stumbling and playing and getting into everything like I expect a "normal" 14 month old to do.

But, "normal" still doesn't seem to fit in our vocabulary when describing Leah. The blood work from Tuesday came back normal. We are thrilled, but as the pediatrician said, the more we test and get normal results, the more "obscure" the answer is going to be. She, and every other doctor who has looked at Leah's case, has said that there is an underlying condition. Hypoglycemia just does not occur in babies for no reason. So for a reason, we wait. There are still a couple of tests out there that we are waiting on the results for , and in 2 weeks we will go see an endocrinologist to see if she can shed some light on this. In the meantime, we watch Leah closely and we have a plan if she gets sick again. So for now, we wait. And we live.

Leah's Update

2010-05-10T21:25:00.000-04:00

Well, after Leah vomited yet again on Saturday night, I spent my Mother's Day in worry for my sweet baby.

I took Leah to the doctor today, and I told the pediatrician that I wasn't going to leave her office until we had a plan of action to figure out what was going on. I'm sure she loved that! I do love our doctor, she is wonderful! I explained all of Leah's symptoms, the low blood sugar and the unexplained random vomiting accompanied with tiredness and lethargy and a bit of clumsiness (except I used a few more words than that!). Dr. M definitely agreed that there is indeed a problem with Leah, but isn't quite sure what it is. One of the scariest moments of my life was when she said we should go down to Children's to get a head CT to rule out a brain tumor (something that I had already suspected in my uneducated assessment but would not admit out loud). She said it was a "reasonable enough possibility that we couldn't not take a look". So I made the treck down to Children's, waited an hour for the scan, stood there right next to my precious baby while she watched the light show and I furiously prayed, and drove home through rush hour traffic to await the phone call. All of the sudden, the worries of yesterday were no longer important and my heart and my mind were consumed with my little 21 pound girl. It was consumed with the "what if's", but it was also consumed with the love of Jesus. The Lord's arms were gently around me all the way, giving me a peace that only He can give. After all, He loves little Leah more than I do. A hard thing to fathom!

The call finally came at 7:34 pm from Dr. M with the good news that the scan was perfectly and beautifully normal! Praise God!

However, this still leaves us at square one. Why is Leah's blood sugar all over the place, especially low, and why is she vomiting at random times for the last 2+ weeks? Why is she lethargic and "just not herself"? Will we have another episode of her not waking that will send us right back to the ER? Dr. M told me she is perplexed. So, we are back to looking for a metabolic disorder of some sort. Tonight, she will research and tomorrow she will call me to take Leah back to Children's so they can draw some blood for an array of tests. I am looking forward to an answer.

God is so good, and I know His plan is a good one!

Learning Patience

2010-05-08T18:24:00.000-04:00

I have always considered myself a patient person. In fact, when in second grade, my teacher Mrs. Ross once told me how patient she thought I was. I didn't think much of it at the time, I was, after all, only in second grade. But, I am no longer in second grade and over the last 20 some years since Mrs. Ross made that comment to me, I have noticed that I am a relatively patient person. Until now. Right now, and for about the last 10 days, I have felt very impatient. I wasn't going to blog about this, because, well, I don't really know why not. I have posted about this on facebook, I have talked with many about it, and have even shed a few tears of frustration...and a few tears of fear...about it. I have researched it, watched closely over it, and have spent much time in prayer over it. Since I don't keep a journal anymore (four kids and a photography business have kept me from it), it's time for me to just write about and it...and this seems to be the place.

It has consumed me.

It is Leah's health.

Wednesday April 28th started like every other typical day. I got the girls ready for school like normal. I heard Leah cry through her monitor, and since I was about to watch the girls get on the bus, I left her there. I went into her room about 10 minutes later and could tell right away that she wasn't feeling well. Over 24 hours before this she had thrown up twice and had diarrhea once but Tuesday she had been absolutely fine. I picked her up and kissed her sweet little forehead like every other Mother who thinks something isn't right. It's that Mother's Thermometer. However, this time, there was no fever. I thought it was strange that she didn't have a fever because she looked so pathetic. As I carried her down stairs, I knew that something just wasn't right with her. She was very limp, she couldn't even hold her head up on her own. Leah's sweet blue eyes were glassed over and they kept rolling back into her head as she would drift off to sleep. This girl has not slept in my arms since she was an infant, and this morning, she couldn't stay awake. My heart was heavy as I knew that something just wasn't right with my sweet baby. I ended up taking her to the doctors office (because that's what the nurse said I should do, against my gut feeling that I should just take her to Children's...won't do that again!) where her doctor took one look at her and told me to go straight to Children's. She did listen to her heart and lungs to make sure she didn't need an ambulance, and decided I could drive her. She was still asleep and listless.

We arrived at the Children's around 10:00 and the hustle and bustle began. We had almost immediate and wonderful treatment for our Sleeping Beauty. It was so scary to see my Leah not wake up. The nurses did 2 urine caths and set up an IV and the most Leah did was open her eyes and grunt. The ER doctor was very concerned that Leah would not fight her...she was just so tired. Blood was drawn and it was determined that her blood sugar levels were very low. She had a reading of 40, normal is 80-120. They gave her a bolus of glucose, a slow drip bag of glucose, and then 2 separate bags of sugar water. Her levels rose nicely, but she was still very sleepy and listless and we were admitted. Around 4:15 she woke up, drank some juice, and then screamed inconsolably for about 45 minutes. It wore her out so much that she went back to sleep for about another 2 hours! She sure does look sweet, though, doesn't she?!

She was awake and happy for about 3 hours that evening, walking the halls and working her charm on all the nurses! We spent the night, Leah in her comfy crib, and I on the very uncomfy pull out couch!

Thursday morning we were discharged, but with no real answers as to what happened. This is where my impatience rears it's ugly head. While we were in the ER and after being admitted, the docs just kept talking about Leah being a medical mystery. They just couldn't figure out what happened to cause her blood sugar to drop so low, something that should not happen without a reason. There are a few "ideas" out there right now. One is that she may have Celiac's Disease, a condition where she basically can not have gluten. We are waiting on a blood test right now. The other is that it may be a metabolic disorder, but we can't test for that until she has another "epidsode" so they can draw blood for an accurate test. So, we wait.

In the meantime, on Thursday evening Leah started throwing up again. She threw up three times before she went to bed. Friday morning I saw a friend of mine at preschool who's daughter has diabetes. She tested Leah's sugar for me and it was down to 60 again. Boo! She let me borrow a meter so I could test her throughout the day, and I called the pediatrician again. She spoke with a metabolic specialist who said that at this time it would not be accurate unless she was acting really sick again like last week. Her sugar went as low as 43 yesterday and when she woke up from her nap, it was back up to 92! That silly little girl! Now, today, she has diarrhea and won't eat much and her sugar is all over the place, mostly low.

Can I just tell you how frustrated I am that I can't do anything about this!? Can I tell you how frustrated I am that no one can tell me what is wrong with her? Can I tell you how frustrated I am that I can't prevent this from happening again? And can I tell you how much I love that little girl and it's scaring me to know that something just isn't quite right with her? This is the area where God is teaching me patience. He is reminding me that Leah is His child first. He knows what is best for her and He knows every detail about her, down to the number of hairs on her head. He is a good God and His plan is for her and our family is good.

So this is a journey that wasn't in our plans, but we are going where God wants us to go. Where He leads, I will follow. And I have a feeling I will be learning patience all the way.

Who would have thought?

2010-04-03T16:14:00.003-04:00

When I was pregnant with Leah I had a whole lot of ultrasounds. Towards the end of her pregnancy every time I had one, the tech would comment at how much hair this baby had. I was not surprised at all, since my other 3 kids came out with a whole head of hair. In some ways, though, I was a bit sad. I had always wanted a bald baby! But much to my surprise, when Leah was born, she had very little hair! Most of that hair fell out....and I had my bald baby! I have loved every minute with that bald head, but now that her hair is starting to grow in, I can't wait to start fixing it in little pig tails and put bows in it. About a month ago (yikes....that's how far behind on blogging I am!), Emily decided to get a head start...ha ha, no pun intended! She thought she would see if Leah's hair would fit in pig tails. Who would have thought that it would work!? Here's what we got....

How cute it that?! Amazingly enough, Leah sat perfectly still while Emily tortured her, uh, I mean did it. I can't wait for it to get a bit longer so we can put real pig tails in....although I think it will be a while. Now, a month later, it's getting even longer and lighter. I just love it!

Here we go!!!

2010-03-26T23:09:00.003-04:00

Well, in a nutshell, here's what God's been doing in our family.

It started back in the fall, when Emily started telling me that when she grows up she wants to work at an orphanage. She said she wants to be a "nice orphanage lady, not a mean one, so the kids will feel loved and I can tell them about Jesus". Then she would clean her room and bring a bag of toys to me asking if we could send them to an orphanage. God was preparing her heart well before this "big thing"was even in motion!

Around the same time, I started thinking about how wonderful it would be to take the girls on mission trips during the summer. I would take Allie one summer, and then Emily the next. As I talked to Brian about this, he agreed and we started thinking about doing this in a few years. But then...I started hearing from God. I wish I could say that I hear God's voice on a regular basis in my life, but I don't. But when I do, it's obvious! The story is much longer and if you would like more detail, ask....I love to share it!

But, in a nutshell....I am taking Allie and Emily this summer to Monterrey, Mexico to serve with our church and Back 2 Back Ministries in an orphanage. We will be there the last week of June, and I simply can not wait! The girls are so excited and even Sam is excited about the part he will play here at home by helping out his Dad and his baby sis. I simply can't wait to see what God has in store for us!

Check back...I will share stories throughout this journey. Thanks for walking it with us!

Habla Espanol?

2010-03-24T16:17:00.002-04:00

There's a hint! And, NO, I don't speak Spanish, so tengo mucho trabajo por delante de mí!

I'll tell you the rest tomorrow! Hee Hee!!

God is answering...

2010-03-23T11:22:00.002-04:00

Wow! I feel like these last few weeks, even months, has been an emotional rollarcoaster! I have a huge desire in my heart and it seemed like it was something that would be fulfilled way in the future. A few weeks ago at church, our pastor preached on the Holy Spirit and the power that is available to us if we realize it's there and ask for it. The next bold step on our connect card was to pray to ask God to do something BIG. Even as I checked it...I thought "Yeah, but this is too big". Silly me! God has proven me wrong. He has opened door after door and we are about to embark on a crazy adventure!

Wanna know what it is??? I bet you do! Stay tuned...I will tell you soon!

My baby girl is one!

2010-03-14T15:57:00.004-04:00

It is so hard to believe. This last year really has been the fastest year EVER! It feels like it was just yesterday that I was pregnant and so ready to get this baby out of me! But now, here she is, and it's been a year. Leah is such a sweet heart. She has come into our family and has just been the perfect addition. I am quite certain that this next year will go just as fast, maybe even faster. I know that I will enjoy every little minute with these kids, because this time is so short.

Here's a few things we have noticed about Leah over the last year:
* She is so content! And so happy.
* She loves to play peekaboo.
* She loves to sing the Itsy Bitsy Spider and can even do the hand motions (sort of!) with me.
* She loves to watch her Praise Baby DVD, and she listens to the CD as she goes to sleep.
* She is an awesome sleeper! Two 2 hour naps a day and about 11 hours at night.
* She won't walk yet. She has taken some steps on her own, but she knows she moves much faster on her hands and knees. She's smart like that.
* Leah loves food! She eats just about anything, but she is still allergic to milk, so we have to watch closely what she puts in her mouth.
* Leah loves her toys. It's fun watching her play with them.
* She copies what we are doing...everything from closing our eyes, to laughing, to fake crying. She just loves to be a part of the conversation and will laugh on cue with the rest of us!
* She has the cutest little scrunched up face/nose grin! It always makes us laugh!
* She likes to jump in her jumparoo.
* She will crawl over to someone who is upset, just to see if she can help.
* She loves to dance to music, especially to the Webkinz song, Hug a Pug!
* She tries to sign "I love you", and waves anytime someone is leaving or she is going to go to bed.
* She says about 6 different signs, "milk", "all done", "eat", "thank you", "more", and a couple others.
* Leah points to things, and when she does it looks like she is making an "L". We can't decide if she is "signing" Leah, or if she is just calling us a Loser!! :)
* She says "mama", "dada", "no" (yes, we are in trouble!), and has just started saying "dat?" which I think means "what's that?". She also will hold the phone to her ear and say something that sounds a whole lot like "hello".
* She loves to ride on her Mickey Mouse rocking horse and dances while the music plays on it.
* Her hair is growing in nicely, and it's pretty light! I can't wait until we can get pigtails (although, Emily already put pigtails...it was quite a site!)
* She weighs 20 lbs 4 oz (our biggest girl at age one!), 35 % and is 29 in long, 50%.

Here's a couple of my favorite pictures from her one year shoot.

I believe that this next year is going to be just as exciting as the last. It has been so much fun watching the big kids interact with Leah and now that she is so much more social...the best is yet to come! I am one blessed Mama!

Sunshine

2010-02-27T22:08:00.003-05:00

Well, it might have been gloomy and snowy out again this morning, but I had a little bit of sunshine brighten my day! Little Miss A came in to play with me today, and what fun we had!!! I mean, seriously, couldn't you just eat her up? Her mom and I laughed so hard while we played and this little 6 month old enjoyed all the attention.

And we ended our play date with a little dress-up together....
Seriously, could she be any cuter?!

When it rains, it pours....

2010-02-24T11:29:00.004-05:00

...or you get 2 feet of snow! I, like many others, love a good snow storm. Don't get me wrong, right now...I can't wait for the spring! I long for a 60 degree day with SUN to just play outside! But, I digress...I do love the snow. So, when in early February we got a few inches of snow, I was excited! Then a few days later, yet another snow storm with another few inches of snow! Then, again, another few days later and another snow storm! This snow storm came last Monday and brought another 7 or 8 inches of snow. On a regular day, I would have been thrilled. But this day, it just added to the stress. Brain woke up that morning feeling a little sick to his stomach. He went to work anyway, but was home by 9:30...this is NOT like him at all! He was so sick and in so much pain. So, late in the morning, we decided to head to the emergency room. It was decided that he had appendicitis and was in surgery by 2:30 to have it removed! What a shock! He is doing much better, after spending 24 hours in the hospital, and we are so grateful to our friends and family for the support, prayers and help over the last week. And to top it off, our furnace went out at the same time! Unbelievable! But, God provided so much for us, including protection. I love it that even in such a hard time, there is still a peace that passes all understanding. God is so good!

But, here are a few pictures of the kids in the snow. We have loved it!

So, with another inch of snow coming today....I am ready for the sun and the spring!

A new blog

2010-02-12T08:49:00.001-05:00

I found a new blog that I am falling in love with, and lucky me, she is having a contest too to a fabulous frame company that I am falling in love with as well! I am posting about it here for a chance to win! Being a mom of 4 kids with a new photography business, I am sure you can imagine how I need to pinch my pennies and this would be the perfect way to get started with these frames! So here goes....

Win a $100 Wild Sorbet gift certificate on www.moms-with-cameras.com!

Check out the site, it's awesome!

Baby likes snow

2010-01-31T19:43:00.010-05:00

Early in January we had our first and, so far, only decent snow fall. I absolutely love a big snow fall, and even though we only got about 5 inches, we had fun! It was Leah's first real experience with snow and it was a fun one!

I suppose it started off relatively innocent. I wanted to measure the snow, so I opened the back door. That's when her curiosity began. She didn't know the routine that needs to take place first, putting on a snow suit, gloves, hat, boots, all that is needed to keep warm in the snow. It was, after all, her first snow fall.

First she was just looking. Then, she needed to touch.

Before I knew it, curiosity got the best and she was venturing out! I did what any good mom would do and I jumped in front of her for the good shot!

I think she really liked it....
Until she realized that her little fingers were getting cold....

But boy was she mad when I made her come in! And, don't worry Grandma, she was out of her cold wet clothes in under a minute and wrapped in a warm blanket! I really enjoyed that snuggle time.
So later that day after her {warm} nap, we decided to venture back out. Only this time, in her snow suit! This time she was much happier!

She was so funny! She thought is was so fun to do a face-plant in the snow and come up covered in snow! I don't know what she liked more, the feeling of the cold snow on her face, or all of us laughing so hard at her after she did it!

Mmmmmm! I could just eat her up!!

(Notice, no top front teeth yet. Santa must not have gotten her note about wanting them for Christmas!)

I am just so in love with this little face!

She even enjoyed making a snow angel!

Now that Leah has had her first experience, I think we are ready for a bigger snowfall. Maybe a blizzard! And maybe next time, we will venture off the back deck.

Dear Santa...

2009-12-22T10:08:00.008-05:00

All...

I...

Want....

For...

Christmas....

Is...

My...

Two...
Front teeth... Please?!

Reflection

2009-12-11T15:44:00.007-05:00

Doesn't it seem that this time of year, after Thanksgiving and just before yet another year begins, that many people are spending time reflecting? I know I have been. I have been so caught up in all the busyness of life that I have neglected simply spending time with God. I have gotten swept up in the blessings that He has given me, that I have allowed my time with Him to fall by the wayside. As I was surfing some blogs today (while I should have been photo-editing!), I stumbled across this song that I just had to share. I hope you enjoy it!

"Oh Where is my hairbrush?"

2009-12-09T17:08:00.002-05:00

"Oh where....is my hairbrush? Oh where oh where oh where oh where oh WHERE......Is my hairbrush?" Have you heard the song? You know, the one where Larry, the cucumber from Veggie Tales, sings about losing his hairbrush only to find out that Bob, the tomato, has given it to the Peach. Because he has hair. I don't know why I have that song stuck in my head, but I do. Maybe it's because I really need to brush my hair (or get a new hairdo!), since, quite honestly, I haven't showered yet today. Maybe it's because I feel so busy that I am searching for things that I just don't really need. Or, maybe it's because it's just a good song.

Maybe it's because I was just wondering where the time has gone. I seriously can not believe that it's December already. And really we are almost half way through December already. If I blink, I am afraid that it will be Christmas morning and I won't even be ready! I realized that it's been over 3 months since I blogged. I don't know if others are "blog-stalkers" like I am, who get really frustrated like me when blogs that I follow aren't updated on a daily basis (eh-hum, what about 3 months???). So when I decided to log in so that I could at least put up a note, I couldn't even remember my password! Scary!

So, what have I been doing lately? Mostly photographing, editing, posting, ordering, diaper changing, baby feeding, big kid feeding, homework, cleaning, shopping, decorating, tear-wiping, hugging, kissing, nose-wiping, medicine-giving, sleeping (not enough!).....in generaly, not much really! :) With photography, this is my busiest season, and God has blessed me with LOTS of great clients! I have had too many shoots to even put all of them up here, although some of my favorites might have to make an appearance.

God has been so good to us over the last 3 months with healthy and we are doing well. I absolutely love this time of year and can't wait to slow down to enjoy it. For now, I will continue to look for my hairbrush.

Stay tuned for updated pictures soon!

Half

2009-09-09T08:53:00.013-04:00

I am not quite sure if I feel excited, or sad about this "half". When the kids school year is half over, there is excitment...they know that the rest of the school year will be fast until it is summer vacation. However, when you are on vacation and it's half over, you are a little sad and try to savor every minute until it's time to go home.

For this half, I am a little sad.

Leah is 6 months old. Half way through her first year! Now don't get me wrong. There is some relief that the first half is over. I mean, come on, what's not to enjoy about the first six months? The sleepless nights, the crying, the constant feedings, little interaction. There is definite relief that we have made it through! But to know that the next six months will go just as fast makes me want to slow time down, or even just freeze time, so I can savor these moments with Leah as a baby. Because I know all too well that in the blink of an eye I will be posting about her first birthday!

But, Leah at six months is so much fun! She has added so much to our family in such a little amount of time. Just ask the big kids...who can't stand to leave her when they get on the bus for school. Forget Mommy...they are having separation anxiety with their baby sis! And when they get home from school and she is sleeping they get mad and want to go wake her up! Leah is such a smily, snuggly, happy little baby. She loves to interact with others, and even seems a little shy (not something she got from her mommy!), but is always up for a good game of peek-a-boo. She loves to snuggle with her blankie and her pacifier, and goes to sleep beautifully with them! She sleeps 11 hours at night and takes 2 good naps each day. Not only has her weight gone up to 15 lbs, 12 oz, she has learned so much! Here are some things that she is up to, now that she is 6 months old....

She joined us at the kitchen table. Look how small she looks! This is the first baby we decided not to use a highchair with, and instead went straight for the booster seat!

Every night while we ate dinner, she would cry. We finally realized that she just wanted to be a part of the action! She loves sitting at the table, and the big kids love her being there with us.

Soon after she joined us at the table, we started feeding her cereal! What fun this was!

She really likes it,

But was pretty messy at first!

Soon she became a pro and wanted to try to feed herself (she is pretty advanced for her age!)
I think she likes her new adventures in food!!

She learned how to sit and perfected it quickly.

And she is learning how to crawl! I am sure it won't be long before she gets away from me quickly!

She still loves that other baby in the mirror! I think I will be sad when we move her changing pad into her new room. She will miss that cute baby!

I just wonder what she is thinking!
And she finally got 2 new teeth! Those were a lot of work.

In 6 months we have become totally, utterly head-over heals in love with the newest addition to our family! I mean, really, how could you not love this bald-headed, blue-eyed, two-teeth, chubby-cheek sweet little 6 month old?
I have a feeling the next 6 months are going to be just as fun as these first 6...if not more! Although, don't blame me for trying to slow down Father Time...

Hard work.

2009-09-04T17:08:00.004-04:00

She worked....

And she worked....

And she worked ...

And she worked some more...

And finally...

SWEET SUCCESS!!!

A little behind

2009-08-11T19:33:00.000-04:00

This last week has been so crazy between Emily's tonsillectomy and hard recovery, Sam's unexpected croup, and Leah's new tooth. I have had a few photo shoots recently, and am a little behind on the editing. But it is well worth the wait! Here are a few shots from these shoots of a sweet little one year old and a six month old....

I will have some more to post soon! For now, back to editing!

Baby Steps...

2009-07-31T16:46:00.007-04:00

...not for Leah, but for me.

Before Leah was born, we had a desicion to make...where to put the baby. We have never had a baby in our room with us. From day 1 with all the others, they went straight from the hospital into the nursery in their own crib. But this time, we had no nursery or bedroom available, so we reluctantly set up the crib and changing table in our bedroom. I did not think I would like having the baby so close. I thought I would wake up to every grunt and every little noise the baby would make. But, to my utter suprise, I love having Leah in my room only steps from where I sleep!

But she is getting older (almost 5 months now!), and we have been putting off a move for her. Partly because we didn't know where she would go. Would we put her in with one of her siblings or give her a room to herself and two of the older kids would have to share? But partly because I just wasnt' ready to move her out of our room yet. So after our trip to Tennesee (pictures to come soon!), we too the plunge and moved Leah into Sam's room! I had a really hard time with it. Our room looks empty now! (I guess we will have to go shopping for a new chair or something!) Big brother Sam was so excited about his new roommate, and both the girls were disappointed to not be getting one.

Leah did awesome! Since she is sleeping a sound 10-11 hours each night and no longer needs a middle-of-the-night feeding, we knew she wouldn't wake Sam up in the night. We just didn't know how things would go in the morning. We had told Sam all the rules...no getting Leah out of bed, no giving Leah toys, etc. Well, on Monday morning, I woke to sounds of coos and giggles from Leah and could hear Sam sweetly talking to Leah from the monitor. I went in, and this is what I found.....

No one told Sam he couldn't blow bubbles for his baby sis!! I thought it was so cute, I did what any other good mom would have done, I got the camera and told him to blow more! Leah has done great in her new room with Sam and Sam has adjusted well to his new roommate. I should have known it would go so well...I just have a hard time letting go.

So here's the new set up. Oh and we chose Sam's room because my very talented Father in law made Sam a loft for his 4th birthday and he has plenty of room to share.

Isn't that loft amazing??? We are taking orders! (Just kidding, I don't think he will ever tackle another loft!)
I know, it needs a little feminine touch for Leah, I am working on it! We still have the changing pad and all her clothes in my room. One day I will have all of her "stuff" in her new room (Brian hopes it's soon!) but for now, baby steps....

A long road, but well worth the journey

2009-07-17T10:07:00.011-04:00

When I look back at the last year, I am amazed at where we have come. The year was full of hard times and really, really great times. God has been so good. God has been so faithful. And God has carried me through it when I didn't think I could make it one more day. I wish I could say that all along, I knew everything would be ok, but I can't. I knew God was in control and that he is GOOD, and I really hoped that God's plan would align with my plan....

One year ago today, at noon, I saw on the ultrasound screen as I sat in the doctors office the tiny perfect heart of our baby Leah. See....

We always wanted 4 kids. Our first three came relatively in our plan. So on June 30, 2008 when I took a pregnancy test and it was positive, we were very excited. But nervous too. We wanted 4 kids, but after 2 miscarraiges we thought God's plan for us was to have three kids, and I was so afraid that this pregnancy would end in a miscarriage as well. But on July 17th, I saw a perfect heart forming and beating strong! I still was nervous, and we weren't by any means in the clear. I started feeling VERY sick, which was not a surprise at all, but even more sick than I had felt with the other three. What was a surprise though, was the other symptoms I was feeling too. I would get up to make lunch for my kids and my heart rate would jump up to over 200 beats a minute! Quite scary! As it turns out, my thyroid had gone very overactive. And an overactive thyroid can cause miscarriage! My endocrinologist made an appointment for me to see a high risk OB with an ultrasound to "check for viability". I was 12 weeks, the same as when we had our first miscarriage, and my doc was trying to prepare me that we had probably already lost this baby. How do you "prepare" for that? My mind was whirling with thoughts and emotions. I had no idea how we were going to go through another loss like that, or how we would tell our kids....again. I prayed that God would allow this baby to survive and thrive, and I trusted in his plan and his goodness, but it was an agonizing week while we waited for the ultrasound.

On September 12, Brian and I drove down to Good Samaritan for our ultrasound and visit with the new OB. As soon as the tech started the ultrasound and I saw the screen, I started to cry! What I saw was a perfectly formed tiny baby and a heart that was obviously beating!!! See....

Look how cozy and comfy she was!

God is so good! My heart was filled with joy. I didn't want to take my eyes off the screen. The baby even "waved" at us!

But the journey wasn't over. It was really just beginning. My thyroid was untreatable because of a reaction I had had to the medication a while back, and the other treatments were impossible to do while pregnant. So my symptoms were treated and monitored, as well as my thyroid levels. And again...God is so good! Just over half way through my pregnancy, my thyroid levels evened out to just slightly overactive! But,also around the same time, at the 20 week ultrasound we found out the our little baby had yet another hurtle to overcome.

A typical umbilical cord has three vessels that wrap around each other to provide nutrients and oxygen to the baby. (Pretty cool that the Bible says that a cord of 3 strands can not be easily broken...and that is how he designed the lifeline to a baby...with 3 strands!!!) Well, our baby had just two vessels to form the cord. Of umbilical cord defects, a two vessel cord is a common one. But to us it was not common and it was quite scary. A two vessel cord can mean nothing, but it can also be a sign of problems in the baby and can lead to problems as the pregnancy progresses. The biggest concern would be failure to thrive in utero and low birth weight, along with preterm labor. All issues that an overactive thyroid can cause too! So, my appointments got bumped to every 3 weeks until 32 weeks with an ultrasound at each visit. Then, I had, or got! to go twice a week for an ultrasound and non-stress test to make sure our baby was doing well. We had a wonderful doctor who took very good care of us and calmed my fears on many occassions...thanks Dr. Brenner! I even got some of the 3D/4D ultrasounds, which was very cool! These are a couple of my favorites...

All in all, I had about 15 ultrasounds of our beautiful baby (not once finding out the gender!!!) but none were as wonderful as when we got to meet our precious Leah Joy in person on March 2!

She is 4 months old now and I can't believe the road we took to get her here. She is truly a blessing to our family and the perfect finish for us! She is everything we dreamt about. God knew the plans he had for us and he fulfilled them even more than we could have hoped or imagined. As hard as the last year has been, I would walk it all over again just to get Leah at the end! (Although, I am so glad to know that I won't walk that road again! :) ) God is so, so good!!

I have learned so much over the last year. Lessons that will never be forgotten and that are too lengthy to go into now! But thank you to all of you who walked this road with us! Thank you for being the hands of God by providing meals and childcare when needed. For being a shoulder to cry on and an ear to listen. Thank you for going before the throne of God on our behalf to ask for protection for me and our precious baby Leah! I am so blessed with amazing friends and family!

Beautiful sisters!

2009-07-14T22:27:00.002-04:00

I had the pleasure of photographing these beautiful sisters the other day. I just LOVE their hair! And I love it that one of them has green eyes and the other has blue...but the same beautiful color hair. They had such sweet personalities too, although, little L made me work to get a smile out of her! What sweeties! Here's a couple from the session....

Sibling love

2009-06-21T19:07:00.005-04:00

For years I have been disappointed with the sibling rivalry in my home between my two oldest girls. They sometimes fight like crazy! Which makes me crazy! I want so badly for them to get along and have prayed for them to not only be "sisters", but to be the best of buddies as well. But, on the flip side, they sometimes get along great! They love each other and play so well sometimes. And, if anyone ever tries to pick on one of them, the other will quickly stand up and protect their sister. Sam gets along with them pretty well, and the girls get along with him pretty well.

Well, over the last 3 months, I have been delighted to watch the 3 big kids interact with Leah! They just love her so much! It's a good thing her middle name is Joy, because she is such a joy to us! Sam even told me once that Leah is going to think that her name is Adorable because we call her "adorable" all the time. She responds so well to them and lights up with smiles when they enter a room! It has been so much fun to watch them interact with her. I am one lucky Mama!

So, even though they make me crazy at times, there are other times that I get a glimpse of the love that I know they have for each other! See.....

I love all my babies!

3 months old already!

2009-06-16T14:25:00.007-04:00

Where has the time gone? It seems like yesterday I was sitting on my couch crying because I was cancelling my induction and just wanted to have this baby! Now, she is 3 months old (actually 3 1/2!) and has doubled in size. I am crazy in love with this baby and can't imagine our family without her. She really is the cherry on top for us! Here are a few more things we have learned about Leah in the last month:

*She sleeps about 10-11 hours at night! Woo hoo!
*Leah absolutley adores her sisters and brother! She smiles at them and coos and "talks" to them all the time. They are such big helpers to me!
*She loves to stand on my lap, on the floor, on the table...anywhere.
*She doesn't sleep well during the daytime (but, really, who cares since she sleeps so well at night?).
*She has great rolls of chub all over her body. I love every single roll!
*I am guessing she weighs about 13-14 pounds already!
*She has just started using her Jump-a-roo and likes it for a short time.
*She also started using a Bumbo seat, and really likes it. She looks so small in it!
*She can roll from her belly to her back consistently now, but still can't get from her back to her belly. She can, however, rotate her body around in a circle while laying on her back, and she can scoot herself while on her back.
*She drools all the time! I hope she isn't getting teeth already!
*She really likes to take a bath, and doesn't even seem to mind the water in her face. She just doesn't care for getting out!
*She absolutely loves her pink, silky pooh bear blanket! That, combined with her paci works magic!
*We took her to Kings Island and she loved being there. She rode in the stroller for a short time, and rode on me while in the Bjorn...got lots of comments of how cute she is! We took her on the Scooby Do ride and she really didn't like it much!
*She loves to look at that "other baby" in the mirror! She is fascinated by her and talks with her frequently.
*We have also discovered that Leah might be allergic to milk! Twice now, after an ounce or less of formula, she has vomitted it ALL up! I have never seen a 3 month old dry heave! So sad! :( We also think that this milk allergy might be the reason for her recent development of being really fussy. We'll see if my elimination of dairy will help her....which I am not looking forward to!

I told you she moves! I had put her in the middle of her floor mat, went into the kitchen and when I came back, I found her here! She thought it was quite funny!

She has found her fists and is fascinated by them! She also always holds her thumb between her fingers like this....She has done this since birth.

There are so many things we love about Leah! I am so excited to watch her grow. She has been such a blessing to our family!

Beautiful eyes!

2009-06-10T16:37:00.004-04:00

I am so blessed to be able to follow my dream of photography! It has been a lot of work and I have learned so much about the art and about myself through this process. It all comes together when I get a shoot like this, especially when the subject is so great...and look at these eyes!

Thanks, Jen, for letting me play with your little people! I can't wait for you to see the rest!

A fun time at Ault Park!

2009-05-22T16:28:00.006-04:00

Last Friday I met a wonderful family for some photography at Ault Park, and what a fun time we had! This was one of those sessions where I looked through the 138 pictures from our session and I couldn't decide which ones to save! They all brought a smile to my face! I mean, come on...look at this beautiful family!

It was one of those sessions where we did lots of playing! I felt much more like a "fly on the wall" than a photographer!

It was one of those sessions where we didn't let the rain drops make us pack up and head home (fortunately, it didn't rain that hard!). Instead we just played in the rain!

And it was one of those sessions where I just fell in love with this sweet little one year old...and his eyes!...instantly!

Thanks, Lyons Family, for letting me capture your beautiful family! I can't wait to show you the rest of the images!

A peek at a newborn

2009-05-19T16:40:00.004-04:00

This little guy is so sweet! I remember 2 years ago photographing his big brother and I certainly see some similarities! These boys will be so much fun when they are running and playing together! What fun! Thanks, John and Christine, for letting me come in your home to play and to capture this special time in your lives!

I spy with my little eye...

2009-05-11T11:36:00.003-04:00

...something yellow! Sam has this funny thing he's been doing when we are out on the road and it spread to all of us! He, for some reason, has noticed all the yellow cars on the road. And there are a lot!!! When we go anywhere, he spots a yellow car and informs anyone within earshhot of his sightings! You would think that yellow would not be a very popular color for a car, but you would be surprised! Seriously, you should try it. I often find myself saying "yellow car...", even when I am out by myself! Even Allie and Emily have caught on and now they point out all the yellow cars too...it is too funny! I think we might even make it into a game to see how many yellow cars we see on our way to Tenessee this summer! It should help to pass the time. :) Good luck and have fun noticing all the yellow cars out there!

Two months old!

2009-05-08T10:36:00.007-04:00

It is so hard to believe my little Bitty Bug is 2 months old already! Time is flying by and although I want it to slow down, I am loving every minute of this crazy ride! Here are a few facts about little Leah:

*She started at a whopping 7 lbs, 0 oz and she is already 11 lbs, 11 oz! She is in the 75 percentile for height, weight and head circum. However, if they could measure her cheeks, I am sure she would be off the charts!!!
*She can roll from her tummy to her back! Wow! It sure makes "tummy time" that much harder.
*She is sooo smiley and talkative! She has the sweetest little coos. I have even gotten a few giggles out of her! She is such a happy little baby.
*The reason for her happiness might be because she sleeps for 9 hours each night! I am loving this!!!
*In the morning, she wakes up so happy. I love to lean over her crib and talk to her. She responds with so many smiles,coos and squeals. I hope to remember this special time forever!
*She loves to snuggle when she is sleepy, but when she is awake, she wants to lay on the floor so she can kick and wiggle.
*And, when she is sleepy, she wants to snuggle with her blanket! Any soft blanket will do, but it needs to be up near her cheeks.
*She still likes to be swaddled, and I am happy to do it because it reminds me she is still little!
*She still fits in her 0-3 months clothes, but is getting close to the 3-6 month size.

I love these smiles!

She just loves her big brother!

Look at these thighs!

And....she rolls....

Her monthly picture by her bear.

If anyone can tell me how to slow time down, I would really appreciate it! I have decided that every stage is my favorite stage!

A bad day with a bit of good

2009-04-29T13:32:00.004-04:00

So, I am really not having a very good day. My broken foot still hurts and it is hard for me to hobble around. I have a tiny little circle of life set up around my couch so I don't have to carry Leah around (I already fell once with her, don't really want to do it again!) and if you know me, you know I am going stir CRAZY not being able to do anything. I can't leave the house unless someone else takes me because of course, my broken foot is my right foot! I have had to rely on someone else to do just about everything for me, which is really humbling and very aggravating!

So imagine my frustration when the school nurse called telling me that I had to come get Emily because she has a fever! Yeah, right....how is that going to happen? (At least Emily understood, apparently she was crying to the nurse saying that Mommy can't come get her because she has a broken foot!) Fortunately, I have a wonderful neighbor who was willing to drop everything to go get her from school. Unfortunately, Emily threw up in her car and got it all over the backseat! I felt so bad! Once Emily got home, she went straight to the couch, where she has since thrown up a couple more times (with blood even!) and is now sleeping. I called the doctor's office because she keeps saying that her head hurts (a lot!!!) and they want to see her. But, guess what, I still can't drive! So we had to make the appointment as late as possible, so Brian can get home from work to take her.

My foot hurts because I am taking care of Emily, and Sam and Leah have both had a pretty high-maintnance day.

So, what has been the good "bit" today? Well, I was getting ready to feed Leah and she was giving me these huge grins! They were beautiful, gummy smiles! Here was a small conversation that was had:

Mommy: "Leah, thank you for these smiles! Do you know something I don't?" (I wasn't feeling like there wasn't much to smile at at the time!)

Leah: no words, but more smiles and coos...

Sam: "She is smiling because she loves you so much, Mama!"

Oh, how I needed to hear that! My sweet little Sam brought me out of my little pity party and reminded me how strong the bond of love is!

So, yes, today is a bad day. But there is still love...as evidenced by my sweet little 8 week old and pointed out to me by my sweet little 4 year old!

4 Generations

2009-04-21T16:48:00.006-04:00

This last weekend Brian and I (and Leah) drove to Buffalo for my cousins wedding (congratulations, Jessica!!!). It was so nice to be able to see some out of town family. On Saturday morning before the wedding, we celebrated my grandparents 60th wedding anniversary! How amazing to make it to 60 years, and what a legacy they are leaving behind to their children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren! Brian and I were saying that we only have 48 more years until we are where they are! They have 4 daughters, 10 grandchildren, and so far...6 great grandchildren! Their love has endured and flourished over the years, they have stuck it out in good times and bad, in sickness and in health, and for richer and poorer....gives such great meaning to wedding vows. It was a weekend to celebrate new marriage and celebrate 60 years of marriage and everything in between!

Four generations! Leah and her mom. Me and my mom. My mom and her mom.

My grandparents live in Florida and I am so glad they got to meet Leah while she is still so little.

The whole gang (well, except one daughter and her family...it was their daughter getting married...and my kids were not there either)

A couple recent sessions

2009-04-21T16:31:00.004-04:00

It feels really good to be back behind my camera again! And to be honest, I think Leah is glad to have a little break from being in front of it! Here are a couple of sweet little boys I have photographed recently....they are both so cute and have such great personalities.

I just love this little guys big gummy grin! He is a fun little (actually he's quite big) 4 month old...
Do you think Mom will love this one??? I do!

And this little 6 month old has eyes to die for!!! I don't think Mom or Dad will be able to say no to those eyes! Watch out girls!

Shootin' again!

2009-04-11T22:34:00.004-04:00

And it feels so good! I did my first photo shoot last week since Leah was born. Little "M" made it so easy for me too, she is a sweet 1 year old with such a fun personality! I had so much fun with this little girl and I just had to share a few images from her session. Jacinta, there will be many more to come very soon! Thanks for letting me "play" with your kids!

And her brother is as handsome as she is cute!!!

I have so many favorites from our time together that it was hard to choose just a few to put up here for you! I can't wait for you to see the rest!

Leah....one month old

2009-04-02T20:36:00.001-04:00

It is so hard to believe that Leah is already one month old! I wished for her to be born for so long, waited for her for what seemed like an eternity. Now, she is here and time is going so fast! I can't imagine our life, our family without her a part of it. I am amazed at the little things I have learned about her in such a short amount of time.

She is a very content baby.
She loves her bouncy seat...especially when it vibrates! But she goes right to sleep in it!
She loves her pacifier, but she will only start sucking on it if I rub her cheek softly, then she will latch on.
She has the softest skin...I love to rub my cheek against hers.
She has long feet and long fingers.
Her thumb must be double-jointed or something! It bends back freakishly far!
She has the staightest pinky of any of our kids!!!
She LOVES to be snuggled, especially with a blanket wrapped around her. I love this about her!!
When she sleeps, she loves to have a blanket touching her cheek, almost covering her face.
She still loves to be curled up in a ball.
She has such fuzzy hair. It's also the lightest of any of the kids.
She has two cowlicks on the top back of her head!
Her umbilical cord fell off when she was only 5 days old. But it still has a scab.
She has a red birth mark on each eye lid.
She has a very small birth mark behind her left ear.
She prefers to look to her right side.
She loves it when Allie, Emily and Sam talk to her.
She loves to have her hands up by her face.
She does NOT like to be in her carseat.

And she reminds me that she is still little, because she still loves to be swaddled. I will miss this!

It feels strange to me to feel sad that she is growing so fast and is already one month old. I want so badly to keep her small, to freeze this moment in time and to savor every moment. Then I think about her first big smile, and the milestones like her sitting on her own, crawling and learning to walk. I wonder what color her eyes will be. Will they stay blue or turn beautiful brown like Allie's? Will she have blond hair, or will it be brown like the other kids? What will her giggle sound like and will it melt my heart as it did with the other three? Will my heart break when she scraps her knees or when she has to get shots at the doctor's or when she is sick with her first fever? I can't wait to watch her grow! So, as much as I want this time to be frozen, I will just savor each special moment with her and enjoy watching her grow.

And today....she SMILED at me!

Look at how straight that pinky is!

She loves to sleep like this...all wrapped up!

This is a bear she got at birth, we will do her monthly picture next to it.

Little Leah Joy is so loved!

Stellan...

2009-03-29T18:54:00.002-04:00

SO, I have been following a blog of a perfect stranger, and they need some prayers! The family seems absolutely wonderful, the writer is MckMamma and she has 4 kids. Her youngest, Stellan, is 5 months old today and is very sick with heart issues. They were told during pregnancy that Stellan would die, even before birth, but he was born full term and completely healthy!!! But, now his heart is sick again, and he is not doing well. You can check out the blog, the history, and updates at www.mycharmingkids.net. I just feel so sad for this family and so compelled to pray for them and compelled to ask you to pray for them as well. Their family is trusting in our Soveriegn Lord through all of this but as you can imagine, it is a very hard situation.

Thank you for praying for them!

Daddy and his big girls

2009-03-27T13:56:00.004-04:00

I will have some more pictures to post soon, but I just love this one of Brian with Allie and Emily! I just had to post it now! The cool thing is that it doesn't show the girls talking back, or being disrespectful or angry. It doesn't show how frustrated Brian gets with them or his (our) lack of understanding of 9 and 6 year old girls. It just shows the love that sometimes in the midst of life, we forget. Life with a 9, 6, 4 year olds and a newborn is quite hectic and sometimes frustrating. I find myself getting frustrated with the girls and Sam simply because I am sleep deprived, not because they are doing anything different than just being kids. I am hopeful that, just like the pains of labor and child birth, the hard times of "now" will fade and when we look back on these years we will know that yes, these times were hard, but we will remember with fondness.....

Our new family of 6

2009-03-16T11:53:00.004-04:00

Our growing family....

And the proud siblings....(what goof-balls!)

And, of course, I can't post without some of just Leah!

We are still amazed at God's goodness to us as evidenced through our little girl! He is so faithful and we are so grateful! The kids are all adjusting well. Sam said to me the other day while I was feeding Leah, "Mom, I don't like Leah. I LOOOOVE Leah!" It was so sweet! And the girls are all over her! This weekend Emily was diagnosised with influenza and pneumonia (we are still praying hard that Leah doesn't get it!!!) and so we kept all kids away from Leah. It was like trying to keep bees away from honey! We are all so in love with this little girl, only 2 weeks old today! I just want to savor and remember every moment of her littleness! I know she will grow so fast and before I know it, she will be walking and talking! Why is it that the last 2 weeks of her pregnancy felt like it lasted about a month and yet the first 2 weeks of her life have felt like only a few days???

I love the smell of her hair after a bath. I love how soft her skin is and I just love to kiss it, especially right next to her eyes and on her cheeks! I LOVE how she curls up into a tiny little ball as I burp her on my shoulder. I love her little squeeks and even her squeeky cry (although I could do without that at 3 in the morning!). I love how alert she gets when she is awake, and how she just has the look of contentment (which, by the way, Leah means contentment). I love it that she recognizes my voice and turns to see me when I talk to her. I love her long fingers and her long feet. I love it that she is the perfect completion to our family! She is so great!

There's no place like home!

2009-03-05T17:17:00.008-05:00

Well, after the long, agonizing decision to not induce labor on Monday and wait for it to start naturally....my water broke!!! I woke at 1:45 on Monday morning to this discovery and we rushed to the hospital thinking that the birth would be quick. A very LONG 12 1/2 hours later our baby girl, Leah Joy came into our world, weighing 7 pounds even. It was a hard labor with pitocin and no epidural but everyone is healthy and happy! The best part is that no one can see any evidence of problems to Leah due to the 2 vessel cord! The nurses said they were pleased to see how hungry Leah is and even described her as "insistent". We are actually under negotiations with the hospital, as we already have reached our limit of insistent little girls! :) Here are a few pictures of us at the hospital...I am so thankful my sister, Kelly, was there to take some great pics of us!

Our new family...

Leah Joy DeVilbiss

My body aches, my hormones are raging, I am so tired I can't see straigth, and my private parts hurt more than they should. However, my heart is over flowing with joy as I am amazed at God's goodness to us! I can't help but look at little Leah and just marvel at her perfection. Her ears are perfect and petite, her eyes full of life, her little button nose is perfect just above her sweet little mouth. I can't wait to watch as she grows into who God has made her to become. It is a fact that the fourth baby is no less miraculous than the first!

And a few at home....

We can't wait for everyone to meet little Leah!

The wait continues....

2009-03-01T16:49:00.004-05:00

Well, I must be crazy, but we cancelled our appointment to be induced tomorrow. I have waited for this day for so long and now we will continue to wait. The doc says that the baby is doing fine (per all the tests) and so there is no reason that we need to induce right now. I struggled with this decision for so long and so hard, but ultimately, we decided to let this baby come in God's timing, not ours. So, the wait continues and we are praying that God will have mercy on this poor body of mine and that He will begin labor naturally and quickly!!! I will have another ultrasound tomorrow in place of pitocin and will visit the doctor...again!

As anxious as we are, we are so thankful to have made it full term and to have a healthy enough baby to not have to induce! We are praying for a smooth delivery with no complications and for this baby to be in my arms very soon!

What's missing?

2009-02-19T16:48:00.004-05:00

Well, we are nearing the arrival of our new little one and I just can't wait!!! The crib is ready, the carseat is clean, clothes and towels and burp clothes are washed and we are pretty much "ready"! I will be induced on March 2nd if little Bitty Bug doesn't come before that. However, as much as I want to get this baby here and in my arms, I am trying to savor these last moments of life without a newborn. Trying to play more with my kids, trying to get some things cleaned up and organzied (although that might be me just nesting), and even trying to sleep! I have done a few photo shoots, have lots of editing and ordering and delivering to do (of photos, not a baby!), and am just keeping pretty busy. But my heart is about to burst with anticipation of this baby and I really just can't wait!!! It will be so soon and our lives will be forever changed/blessed forever!

And one of my belly....

A shopping spree with lots of savings!

2009-01-11T22:15:00.003-05:00

So, for Christmas, I gave Allie and Emily each a gift card for Justice and told them we would go on a date....get some lunch, go shopping, and we even ended it with some Cold Stone Creamery (which was great that I got it twice!). I was able to get the gift cards at a 40% discount (thanks Melissa!!!!) and then when we were there, we had a bit of luck, a shopper offered me 2 coupons (she didn't even know I needed 2) for another $15 off your total order. I told the girls they could only buy stuff that had an orange tag...clearance. I absolutely love the clothing at Justice, but even more I HATE to pay the price of their clothing. I think it is outrageous to charge those kinds of prices for children's clothing! Ok, I will get off my soap-box now....on to the fashion show and the savings! The girls had a great time shopping for them and here are the results. I will tell you what I saved at the end.

Cute clothes, huh??? Here's the totals:
Allie got 3 full outfits and a necklace.
Full price before clearance would have been $165.
I paid a total of (including the price of the card) $40!!!

Emily got two full outfits, a pair of pants with 3 shirts to match.
Full price before clearance would have been $185 (yikes!).
I paid a grand total of (again, with card) $45 (woo-hoo!!!).

I just love being able to get a special treat and saving so much money while at it!!!

Look at these eyes....

2009-01-06T17:18:00.003-05:00

I just photographed a beautiful family! I just love this little guy, he is so expressive and I adore his blue eyes!!! Here's a small peak for the mom and dad...I will have the rest on the website for you by tomorrow!

Time flies when you're having fun...

2009-01-06T11:58:00.002-05:00

And it really does, and we really are! I can't believe that it is already the 6th of January!!! Brian was off for the last 18 days (which, by the way, I thought we would have killed each other by day 3, but it was quite the opposite...yesterday I asked if he really had to go back to work today!!!) and I thought I would get all kinds of stuff done that has been on my to do list for some time. I had great aspirations of cleaning, getting ready for this baby, and even updating my my blog and working on my new photography website. We had a whole lot of fun, and we did get a lot of stuff done, but my list is still just about as long. I am hoping to get some pictures of our Christmas up on the blog soon, so stay tuned!

Our baby has a name!

2008-12-17T15:26:00.002-05:00

ok, well, maybe not officially, but Brian and I are really having a hard time thinking of names...after all, we have used our favorite 6 names...and this baby name just might stick, even after birth!!! So about a month ago, Sam and I were having a discussion of sorts. He had been watching a video he got from the library, I think it was a Sunny Patch friends video, and Sam informed me that "big bugs don't cry", and I think he was telling me that he is a big bug. We had also been talking about the baby and so I told him that "sometimes, big bugs can cry. But little bugs cry a lot." And then I asked him if he thinks our little bitty baby would cry much. He said yes, but then the light came on and he said, "Hey mom! Our baby is Bitty Bug!!!" I laughed and so did he! The name has stuck and now the whole family calls him/her Bitty Bug! I just love it! :)

For an update, Bitty Bug is growing well and doing great! Many of you know that Bitty Bug has a couple hurdles to overcome, even before birth. My thyroid has been over active throughout this pregnancy, and then after the 20 week ultra sound we found out that the umbilical cord has only 2 vessles instead of the typical 3. The biggest concern is that it can cause low birth weight and can cause the baby to stop growing inutero, among other things. So, they will watch the growth of the baby closely. I will have an ultrasound every 3 weeks until 32 weeks, and then twice a week from 32 weeks until birth. Good news is that right now baby is doing great and growth is right on track! We are praising God for knitting this baby together in His perfect plan! Thanks to the many of you out there that are praying for our baby...now you can pray for him/her by name! :) THANK YOU! If I can figure out how to scan in the ultrasound picture, I will try to post it soon!

Another sneak peek...

2008-12-12T16:44:00.002-05:00

This girl is such a beauty! She is taking modeling classes, I think she will go far, what do you think? She was so personable and sweet, and quite the trooper for being outside on such a COLD day! Here's just a few of the images for mom and dad....

"Mommy, on accident, I..."

2008-12-10T19:50:00.003-05:00

These are words you really don't want to hear from your 3 year old while he is working on an art project at the kitchen table! Here is the complete sentence I heard from him yesterday afternoon..."Mommy, on accident I got a little bit of glue on my hands. Can you help me?" He did sound a little distressed, so I went into the kitchen to see what was going on. After the initial shock, I composed myself and, of course, got the camera! Here is what I walked in on:

A Very Sweet Pea!

2008-11-25T15:22:00.003-05:00

And a very sweet family! This is a new family for me, and I had so much fun photographing their new family! I can't wait to do the 3 month shoot!

New Christmas cards

2008-11-25T08:45:00.006-05:00

I have always wanted to offer beautiful, unique Christmas cards, and this year I finally took the plunge and am doing it!! Here's an example of a Christmas card/birth announcement....

Here is the front of the card (it would be a 5x7 when closed)...

Here's the inside (5 across, 10 high when open)...

Another sample of an inside...

And finally the backside...

Anyway, just wanted to share!!

Sneak peek...

2008-11-22T19:50:00.003-05:00

...for a very patient mom and son! Senior pictures are so much fun, not to mention that we don't have to deal with 2 year old temper tantrums! I had a blast with this session, and Jerrod, you were such a good sport putting up with the cold weather!! Enjoy these few, I will have the rest for you soon! p.s. I still wish we had had your trumpet! :)

And a special one for mom....

Aren't they gorgeous???

2008-11-19T12:36:00.003-05:00

Although, I am a little biased, since they are my niece and nephews! We did a super quick session in grandma and grandpa's backyard...can't wait for the spring to do some more!

Ahhhh, the winter...

2008-11-09T19:57:00.002-05:00

Ok, so normally I HATE the winter...Dressing the kids to go outside, even for just a small errand...the socks and shoes, barefeet is so much easier!...colds and flu...the cloudy, dreary days that are so short it's dark by dinnertime.... I think some years my favorite part of winter is when it ends and it's spring!

BUT, this year I feel different. I don't know if it's because at church the messages have been on developing a habit of gratitude (which I must say has really decreased the amount of complaining that I do because I am really seeing that every gift is from God, whether it is imperfect or not), or if it's because I know that I have to go through the winter to finally get to the place where I can finally meet and hold this baby, or if it's just because the summer was so hard that it's time to move on. Whatever the reason, this year I am looking at the winter in a new way. I can't wait for Thanksgiving (although that might be because food is now my friend and we will have 2 very yummy dinners!) and Christmas is just so exciting to me! The Christmas shopping, the Chirstmas music, baking cookies with the kids...can't wait! I know we all look forward to the holidays, but I am also looking forward to snuggling under blankets with the kids and hubby, hot chocolate, using our new fireplace, snow storms and yes, even snow days!

This weekend it got really cold, which was hard after having an Indian Summer last week with temperatures in the upper 70's! But Friday night we had a small fire in our firepit, roasted marshmellows with some great new neighbors while having fun convedrsation, and then ended the night snuggled under our comforter as we drifted off to sleep! Ahhh.....Then today barely broke 40 degrees so we had our first fire in our new fireplace while Brian watched football and the kids played together. It was a wonderful Sunday afternoon. I really can't wait for more of these cold days!

I am so thankful we live in an area that has different seasons. Without the changes, I think I would get bored with the best. So as much as I love the summer and already long for the spring, I will enjoy the winter. Or at least, I will try!

More Halloween!

2008-11-03T15:39:00.006-05:00

Well, here are some more pictures of my little trick or treaters! They had so much fun this year, as did Brian and I! After the neighborhood run, we had a small bonfire (well, it was contained in a firepit) and had some of our new neighbors come and join us for s'mores and hot chocolate (as if the kids really needed more sugar!). We feel so blessed to be here in our new neighborhood, we are so happy here! Anyway, here are some photos.....

Getting ready....

The finished products....Could they be any cuter?

"I think I have more"

Waiting patiently....

Sam tried so hard to keep up with the girls!

"Hmm, I think I have enough. Time to go home now."

"Trick or Treat, Smell my Feet...

2008-11-02T21:47:00.006-05:00

give me something good to eat!" This video was taken by my sister on her camera while trick or treating, and I thought it was so funny! The funniest part, is she doesn't think she can say "underwear", so pay close attention to the end! :)

I'll have more pictures to post later~

Just a little peek!

2008-11-02T20:44:00.002-05:00

I just love photographing families with just one child! It allows for so many more expressions captured...when there are multiple children, it is fun in a different way, but it changes the dynamics some and it's harder to capture the many "faces". Well, little Miss "A" has many faces!!! She is the sweetest little "ninja turtle" I know and has an adorable personality! She won't be an only child for long, baby boy number 2 is coming very soon, and she will make a great big sis! Thanks, Hyrnes, for letting me "play" with you all...you are an adorable family! There are so many great shots from this shoot, I had a hard time picking a few to post for you! I will have the rest ready for you soon! For now, enjoy these....

My Sweet Little Man...

2008-10-28T16:47:00.002-04:00

The other day I asked Sam if he knew how much I love him (I would have asked the girls too, but they were at school) and he replied "super much"! I said of course, super much!!! Then he very casually started to walk away and he turned around to say "I love you super much too, Mommy!!!" Oh, he just melts my heart!

Too cute for words

2008-10-20T16:21:00.003-04:00

I photographed this sweet little boy and have been editing his pictures. He is so cute I just had to share him, and a few "teasers" for mom! There are more to come very soon! He was about 10 days old for his session and was a fabulous model...he slept the entire time! Thanks, M, for letting me "play" with your new bundle of joy...I just can't wait to have my own!

IT'S A.......

2008-10-20T09:28:00.002-04:00

Boy oh boy, it's still a surprise!!! :) We had a great ultrasound last week! The baby looks healthy, and more importantly is growing as should be (with my thyroid being overactive, it can cause smaller growth)! The kids had a great time seeing the baby, but it is still hard for them to understand, especially Sam, why the baby has to stay in my tummy so much longer. It will be well worth the wait! We did make it through this ultrasound not finding out the gender, but we will be having at least a monthly ultrasound from here on out, again...thyroid, and it will be so hard to go through all those without peeking at the gender! I just know I really want to be surprised at the end of a long (hopefully not too long) labor. We'll see...

A good thing though.....I went 2 whole days without taking zofran for nausea! Praise God!!! I am just praying that this continues and the nausea doesn't come back.

A Sneak Peek!

2008-10-15T16:17:00.000-04:00

Here's a sneak peek for Marie and Paul! I really enjoyed photographing this couple on their wedding day...we only did pictures before the ceremony, so I didn't have the stress of the one-time shots during the ceremony...it was so much fun! Marie and Paul, you are a beautiful couple with a beautiful family! I will let you know when I have all the images done! For now, enjoy....

Almost half way!

2008-10-15T12:47:00.000-04:00

I am 19 1/2 weeks pregnant now and we have our ultrasound tomorrow! I can't wait! We are bringing the kids to see the baby too, so that should be exciting. We are not finding out the gender, but we are still so excited to see this little miracle!

Thank God I am a light sleeper!

2008-10-10T09:04:00.000-04:00

I have always been annoyed that I am a light sleeper, and now with this over active thyroid/pregnancy, I sleep even less! But last night it really came in handy! Sam has had the habbit of coming into my room in the middle of the night, and laying down with me in bed. I, having little energy, let him. But with a new baby coming in March (who will sleep in our room and probably want to wake me every 2 hours to eat), I decided enough is enough. So, last night, it was the same thing. He came in at 3:30 and tried to climb in bed with me. I told him no and to go get back in bed. He did leave, and I thought I heard the squeek of his door knob so I started to drift off to sleep. I really don't know how much time passed, but at some point, while I was in the twilight zone, I was startled awake by what I thought was the ringing of the doorbell. You know how it is, when you are almost asleep, your mind plays tricks on you! I laid there a minute to see if it rang again, it didn't, so I almost went back to sleep. But then Mother's Intuition kicked in (if anyone can explain this phenomenon to me, please do! It's mind blowing!), and I woke up Brian to see if he heard it. Well, of course he didn't because he is a SOUND sleeper and never hears anything (sometimes, like when babies are crying, I think it's intentional!). But I asked him to investigate anyway. He stood at the top of the stairs, looking down towards the front door....I think he was somewhat confused! I then mentioned that Sam had come into our room a few minutes earlier, and then it hit me that Sam can't open the front door from the outside, so he always rings the doorbell when he needs in! Brian went into Sam's room, and low and behold....no Sam!!! He went downstairs, opened the front door, and found a very scared Sam! He had gone outside to find the car because he left his blanket in there the day before! It was a disappointment to him when he saw that the car was NOT in the driveway, it was in the garage!

Needless to say, I didn't sleep from about 4 am on because I couldn't stop thinking about what if I hadn't heard the doorbell!!?! You hear all these stories about very young children wondering the streets in the early morning or middle of the night in their pj's and barefeet, and you always think, at least, I do....that that will never happen to my kids! And, how dare those parents not pay attention to their young child! But my own 3 year old got out of our house at almost 4 am in his pj's and barefeet and couldn't get back in!! It scares me to think what would have happened if......

Whew! I think I am going to need a nap today!

Extreme Makover was in our neighborhood...

2008-10-03T16:43:00.000-04:00

and it will air on ABC this Sunday! We tried to go as much as possible to watch the whole thing, but they made it pretty hard on us. We were within walking distance but they would not allow any walk-ins, so any time we wanted to go, we had to drive to VOA park to ride the shuttle! What a mess! It sure was fun and I can't wait to watch it on tv on Sunday! Brian works with Greg Akers, and Allie goes to school with Brooke. If you do watch the episode, pay close attention when they are at Hopewell for an assembly, we were there in the front two rows of the bleachers (although I told the girls that we probably wouldn 't be on tv since they were pouting and fighting the whole time! It was really hot....).

Here are some pics we took while there...

Here we go....

2008-10-02T21:47:00.000-04:00

I suppose I have been a blog-stalker for far too long now and have been talked into finally starting my own! I figure in some ways, this is the best way to journal about my life and the little things that one day I will forget, things that I want to remember forever but get replaced by the daily happenings. So, join me on this journey if you would like...it has been fun so far!